By: Gemma Lagasca
A typical married man tends to be the feeling like a “boss” in the family. Sometimes men cannot recognize it when they commit a mistake – maybe it is true that “boys will be boys”? However, married men should not ignore such visible bad habits because these can ruin the life of his partner.
According to a Psychologist; Dr. Gloria Vanderhorst PhD: continuous negative feelings between a husband and a wife that aren’t talked about will lead to psychological and physical crisis. Once stresses develop between the couple, depression and anxieties will gradually affect them and their relationship will lost its harmony. Here are the top manly mistakes and some practical solutions:
- Power position. Most men are typically performing the role of being dominant to their wife. This is a big mistake but many men don’t realize that it’s a bad mistake. Being a good provider for the family is different from being the powerful boss. Men should remember that being respectful, loving, reciprocal, caring and supportive will build a harmonious relationship with your partner in life – and never power struggle.
- Not showing compassion. Being compassionate is one of the most essential ingredients of any relationship according to psychologist Dr. Albert Maslow, PhD. Women are normally emotional when encountering discouragement but most of the time, men are more on “fix-it mode”. Men should learn to just simply by just listening to their wives’ complaints, and be sensitive with their feelings – to be able to understand them. It is important to take enough time to converse with each other to be uplifted spiritually and to ease depression.
- Being reckless spenders. Men tend to spend a lot without consulting their partner -because the attitude of being the head of the family is still instilled in their minds. Making big purchases is such an alarming issue and will affect the financial status of the whole family. Dr. Vanderhorst emphasizes that both husband and wife should have a shared leadership position. Consider each other’s side before you come up with a mutual decision.
- Listening without thinking. Most men pretend that they are listening to their wives’ sentiments. They just nod sometimes without analysing the other party’s feelings and then they will jump into fixing the problem at once. This men’s attitude is not passive. Establishing good connection through demonstrating an interest with what the wife is trying to share is an active process to maintain the connection. Women are normally seeking for refuge to their husbands as they are considered as their “knight in shining armor” in times of dilemma.
- Being reserve with their feelings. Men are typically not taking the risk to open up their real emotions. Dr. Maslow explained that a woman will feel disregarded when her husband is not expressive to talk about his problems or feelings. The connection of the couple will gradually disappear and they will tend to find other outlet to release their stresses. This is not a good example of a healthy relationship. Men should not be scared in talking about their failures. Build an open communication with your wife – in good times or bad times to encourage each other.
Know that there’s no problem that can’t be solved when well-communicated! Set aside your pride because it will not deter your manhood.
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