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Top 5 Mistakes of Married Men



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By: Gemma Lagasca

 

Married MenA typical married man tends to be the feeling like a “boss” in the family. Sometimes men cannot recognize it when they commit a mistake – maybe it is true that “boys will be boys”? However, married men should not ignore such visible bad habits because these can ruin the life of his partner.

According to a Psychologist; Dr. Gloria Vanderhorst PhD: continuous negative feelings between a husband and a wife that aren’t talked about will lead to psychological and physical crisis. Once stresses develop between the couple, depression and anxieties will gradually affect them and their relationship will lost its harmony. Here are the top manly mistakes and some practical solutions:

  1. Power position. Most men are typically performing the role of being dominant to their wife. This is a big mistake but many men don’t realize that it’s a bad mistake. Being a good provider for the family is different from being the powerful boss. Men should remember that being respectful, loving, reciprocal, caring and supportive will build a harmonious relationship with your partner in life – and never power struggle.

  2. Not showing compassion. Being compassionate is one of the most essential ingredients of any relationship according to psychologist Dr. Albert Maslow, PhD. Women are normally emotional when encountering discouragement but most of the time, men are more on “fix-it mode”. Men should learn to just simply by just listening to their wives’ complaints, and be sensitive with their feelings – to be able to understand them. It is important to take enough time to converse with each other to be uplifted spiritually and to ease depression.
  3. Being reckless spenders. Men tend to spend a lot without consulting their partner -because the attitude of being the head of the family is still instilled in their minds.  Making big purchases is such an alarming issue and will affect the financial status of the whole family. Dr. Vanderhorst emphasizes that both husband and wife should have a shared leadership position. Consider each other’s side before you come up with a mutual decision.
  4. Listening without thinking. Most men pretend that they are listening to their wives’ sentiments. They just nod sometimes without analysing the other party’s feelings and then they will jump into fixing the problem at once. This men’s attitude is not passive. Establishing good connection through demonstrating an interest with what the wife is trying to share is an active process to maintain the connection. Women are normally seeking for refuge to their husbands as they are considered as their “knight in shining armor” in times of dilemma.
  5. Being reserve with their feelings. Men are typically not taking the risk to open up their real emotions. Dr. Maslow explained that a woman will feel disregarded when her husband is not expressive to talk about his problems or feelings. The connection of the couple will gradually disappear and they will tend to find other outlet to release their stresses. This is not a good example of a healthy relationship. Men should not be scared in talking about their failures.  Build an open communication with your wife – in good times or bad times to encourage each other.

Know that there’s no problem that can’t be solved when well-communicated! Set aside your pride because it will not deter your manhood.

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Hurricane Sandy Survivors’ Government Assistance



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By: Gemma Lagasca

 

Hurricane SandyPeople around the globe were terrified when the 21 states in America were hit by a super-storm named Sandy few weeks ago. It was an extraordinary “real-life monster” that frightened and killed numerous helpless individuals. This real-life disaster was described as such because the super-storm brought exceptional quantity of rain, floods, snow and destroyed extensive amount of properties, houses and infrastructures estimated to reach billions of dollars.

Due to this dreadful destruction, millions of survivors were left emotionally and physically devastated. Fortunately, Benefit.gov affirms its support for over 1,000 assistance programs. It is committed to help citizens find general assistance they urgently need. This E-Government initiative is supported by the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) through DisasterAssistance.gov website – for easier application access to the 17 Federal Agencies created for this purpose.

President Obama ensures that FEMA’s program is available to any resident from the affected states within New York, New Jersey and Connecticut. President Obama also assures public assistance to municipalities or Tribal officials in different states such as West Virginia, Rhode Island and New Hampshire. Just visit FEMA’s web site for added information.


Aside from FEMA’s various kinds of financial aids, Internal Revenue Service (IRS) and Small Business Administration (SBA) are also willing to support Benefits.gov. In association with the program they also offer the following benefits for the survivors:

1. Housing Assistance:
• Rental Units – survivors can be benefited with FEMA’s Housing Portal. It helps individuals and families to relocate and find a home for them to start all over again – after the devastating disaster. The affected and identified families should contact the federal agencies in charge and check the property choice on commercial websites.
• Temporary Housing – affected families and individuals with damaged homes have the privilege to be sheltered in motels or hotels in New Jersey and New York temporarily – while their houses are under repair. This program belongs to Transitional Sheltering Assistance Program. However, it is necessary to get registered first with FEMA to check application illegibility.
2. Business Loans:
• Business Physical Disaster Loans – this type of loan is not only limited to small businesses. It is a non-profit program that offers low-interest and long-term loans to recover the losses from their businesses due to the calamity. The loan can also use to rebuild and repair the establishment, property, machinery or equipment. The actual amount will be based on the actual damages or can be approved up to $2 million.
• Business Recovery Centers – these centers offer one-on-one business guidance and are operated by SBA. This is currently available in Brooklyn NY and Manahawkin New Jersey.
3. Tax Counseling:
• Disaster Assistance and Emergency Relief Program – tax payers who were affected with the disaster are exempted to pay their taxes. Instead, the IRS provides tax counseling and gives assistance to for the victims to claim for tax refunds. All they have to do is to accomplish the forms and complete the needed information for the reconstruction of the destroyed financial records and furnish requirements for the refund.
4. Legal Services:
• Disaster Legal Services (DLS) – they provide legal assistance to affected individuals with low-income. Survivors like them are obviously incapable in securing legal services – on top of their basic necessities.
These are examples how the US government is taking care of its citizens during unfortunate incidents such as Hurricane Sandy’s devastation.

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Happiness – the Best Measure of Success



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By: Gynn Flores

 

HappinessAre you happy?

How happy are you now?

How much has your Company earned this quarter?

Which question is more significant to you? If you are more concerned about the latter, then one can guess that the answer to the former is not going to be a very positive one.

With this in mind, I was happy to know that the Bhutanese have introduced a Minister for Happiness – yes indeed, a happiness minister.

This kingdom in the Himalayas has a new measurement of national prosperity – “gross national happiness”. By focusing on people’s welfare rather than economic productivity, there is likely to be a knock-on effect for business. After all, a happy workforce makes for a more successful and productive team. They become more creative, focused and inspired with what they do. It makes them inspired to perform well in their jobs.

Success and money can definitely contribute to happiness, but happiness itself is another thing altogether. Words like ‘family’, ‘friends’, ‘love’ and ‘laughter’ have a lot more to do with happiness than words like ‘gross’, ‘capital’, returns and ‘revenue’.


Money is said to be a by-product of bigger, more meaningful goals such as passion, fun and wisdom. I can say, have fun, do good, and the money will come. It is once said that it is the little things that make us happy, money only creates a scenario conducive to happiness.

Perhaps we could learn a thing or two from the Bhutanese and their Minister for Happiness. What other measurements for success are important to you? To the breadwinners, it is the capacity to provide for their family. For the businessman, it is the capacity to earn as projected or better yet, exceed the projections. Regardless of your purpose, happiness comes when you are able to achieve your goals. It gives you a sense of achievement and success. It is like rewards for your best efforts or some like to say the fruits of your own labor.
People have different expectations and in reality it is hard to give a measure to happiness. Regardless of your standards, your total well-being is what is important. Having achieved your goals – be it in business or employment, can make you able to sustain not only your needs but also your wants. Good health should be on top of the list followed by a comfortable home, good nourishment and finally the extras that you desire to have like holidays, gadgets, jewelries, novelty items to name a few.
Having achieved happiness, expect to hear laughter, contentment and a relaxed way of life. This is the life we all should struggle to achieve. It will free us from stress which is the source of most dreaded diseases. This may sound so simple but the reality is, it is s sort of prevention for the negative things to happen like worries, stress, anxiety and unhappiness. If everybody achieves this, we will all live happily wherever we may be. Initiate the effort and be happy.

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How Texting Affects the Body



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By: Gene Carla Chua

 

TextingOther than calling, texting is the way most us use to communicate within long distances. Most, if not all teenagers these days send text messages every single day. Recent studies show that texting may be causing pain in the neck and shoulders. This injury commonly affects office workers who work long hours typing with the computer. The way the body is positioned while texting is a lot similar to a person’s posture while typing: unmoving shoulders, and fast moving fingers. Adults who have spent years in front of a computer are prone to carpal tunnel syndrome, bursitis, and tendonitis. These injuries/diseases may be caused by their long hours of typing. Doctors and researchers are worried that the younger generation may be prone to the same diseases/injuries or even worse.

Other research in the UK shows that a certain part of the brain called ratio communis stops working or slows down when we are texting. The American College of Emergency Physicians has gone as far as issuing a warning not to text while doing another activity. They tell us to just simply stop texting, because who would want the ratio communis or any part of their brain stop working right? We all agree that we should not text and drive, because they say that it is just bad, if not worse than drunk driving, but how can this stop a part of the brain from working? Well, researchers have not found an answer to that yet, but they say that it is unlikely, since they cannot find anything that can logically explain why this phenomenon is happening. Though answers are not coming, scientists are still conducting brain scans to find the cause of ratio communis manifestations from blinking to darkened vision.


Most teachers can agree that texting is a really big distraction to students, but according to a new study, it is a brain altering habit. Researchers say that it teaches children to be “speedy, but sloppy”. They blame this to what we call auto- correct. Auto- correct helps you construct your words faster. The phone figures out what you are typing with just a few keystrokes. Scientists say that this may be causing a child’s brain to be more and more careless. Young people who are heavy cellphone users are more inaccurate in tasks involving memorization or memory tests, they have found to have less attention span and as what was said earlier, it makes them careless.

Texting has been a big part of our everyday lives. We use it for communicating, and connecting especially to those who are far away. It helps us relay whatever we want to say to anyone, anywhere they may be. Texting is affordable, easy, and convenient, but who knew that it could be a cause to a lot of problems. Most of us think that texting is a way to socialize and connect, but why can’t we socialize and connect with the people who are around us physically. Texting allows us to be present physically, but lost in spirit. We should learn to start connecting again – the old fashioned way.

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Is The Internet Changing Our Way Of Thinking?



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By: Gene Carla Chua

 

InternetIf you are always on the internet I’m sure you have heard that it shortens your attention span, it gives you the inability to engage in in-depth thought, and it causes you to have fragmented and destructive thoughts. It would probably surprise you if I say that none of these are exact facts. These are only supported by anecdotes.

“How is the internet changing the way you think then?” Every year science impresario, author, and literary agent John Brockman posts this question in edge.org so that answers may be heard from philosophers, neurobiologists and other scholars. Their answers all vary of course, but it is very refreshing to hear very good feedback from very reliable minds. Neuroscientist John Greene of Harvard said that the internet does not change the way we think, it provides us with unprecedented access to mounds of information, but it doesn’t have anything to do with how our brain works. Cognitive psychologist

Steven Pinker also has the same view. He said that electronic media is not going to revamp the brain’s mechanisms of information processing. He writes “Texters, surfers, and twitterers” have not trained their brains “to process multiple streams of novel information in parallel, “as is commonly asserted but refuted by research, and claims to the contrary” are propelled by … the pressure on pundits to announce that this or that changes everything. ”

The negative thoughts about the internet will never go away though. Communications scholar Howard Rheingold said that the internet promotes shallowness, credulity and distraction. Evgeny Morozov, an expert in internet and politics said that our lives are based too much in the present – it has been completely detached even from the most recent of our past. Our ability to look back in the past certainly deteriorates.


The internet most of the time is used for social networking, but it is also very helpful in researching. In the internet, we see and find the ideas of other people. These ideas they do willingly share on blogs, in websites, in their Facebook accounts, and they can simply Tweet about it. Sharing is a good thing isn’t it? However, does this affect our creativity? When we see these very good ideas, we can add our own ideas into them and make our own.

This is one way in putting internet to good use. This is also a good way to practice our creativity and even drive our minds to find and create more unique and exciting ideas. Another scenario however is when we simply copy or steal an idea we find in the internet. This is obviously not good. We don’t just simply call it copying, it is plagiarism, and this is punishable by law. That is not at all the point. The point is that we cannot simply call the internet a bad thing or a good thing – it depends on how you see and make use of it.

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