By: Destiny Rose
Everyday I try and with each try all I can guarantee is my own humiliation. When you’re nice, normal and kind you are greeted with smiles and warmth. When you have done nothing wrong – not seeking anything but respect and company and to live, exist and just be there, everyone is there and cares and offers there time and help if you may need it – for what ever reason.
In the times you do ask, need it and feel you are not able to accomplish the task at hand, everyone seems to be busy or unavailable.. disappeared. It leaves me to wonder that when they do say yes; lets meet and discuss it, it is only because they know they will get the gossip on you and the unedited version so they can be nosy and know the depth of your pain.
Humans are hideous creatures that are the most cruel, selfish beings in the galaxy and I wish I was not one of them.
To be a goldfish in a bowl of dirty water that does not get fed as often as it should – would be a better existence from what I have now.
When I look back on my life and the things I have done, they are small things for me but big things in other people’s eyes. I don’t do things and expect anything in return except a thank you and to enjoy the moment when I see their eyes and know they are astonished, excited or relieved. As a Tauren it is our nature to buy practical presents – not just shiny things to impress, but things to better someone’s life – to make it easier for their existence.
I don’t go a day without noticing what someone is without. Whether they realise it or not. I notice the person on the street that could do with shoe polish or a lady struggling with shopping that I realise has to get all the way home whether by bus or car then to the house that they live. I see the homeless and the rich and the thing that makes their life incomplete or unfulfilled. I see all of the pain on faces I don’t know. I carry that pain and I wish I didn’t.
Going through my own pain I realise that for me i want a tattoo on my fingers just above my palm. Each finger with a number – starting from the smallest with 5 then 4,3,2 with the thumb having 0. Maybe then when I look at it each day I will realise I am alone. Standing alone in a world of billions.
5,4,3,2,0 because I realise, there is no 1 (no one).
Image Source: GMA