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Settling Disputes with others is a Way to Forgive Self

welcome By: Elena Grace Flores
Believing that asking for forgiveness when you do others wrong is important, only meant that you value self-forgiveness to forget the negative feelings to move on. In a study conducted recently, participants with some disputes were asked the following questions:
Participants in the first study were quizzed on:
• How they forgive themselves for a real offense
• How much efforts made to apologize
• How they knew that they are forgiven
• How they perceive the value of self-forgiveness

Those participants who went out of their way to seek forgiveness are likely the ones who can easily forgive themselves for the mistakes done. The first test showed some fluctuating measurements when participants with emotional cases including partnership betrayals were questioned, so a second study was conducted that highlights the above questions hypothetically.
Generally, more guilt was experienced when the nature of the offense was higher – and it was helpful to be forgiven by others first to finally be able let self-forgiveness to happen as shown from the data of the majority.

It was also concluded that males can forgive faster than females. This is consistent with the fact that women are more emotional than men. It does help that we exert efforts in making amend because in reality, when we do the right thing, it feels that we are not anymore responsible with other people’s sufferings. It’s their choice to move forward or stay sad – allowing to forgive one’s self to take place.

This explains why people that bear most guilt are denying themselves with self-forgiveness. They tend to develop restlessness, irritation and hatred isolating them socially. Not knowing how to do the right thing will drive them to do more mistakes – making their lives miserable. Unhappiness is often the result of not being able to make amends. The Positive Psychology Journal reflects the above findings with data obtained from the 269 participants with negative situations with others and the follow up test involving 208 people who were questioned hypothetically during the studies conducted by Psychology researchers from Baylor University in Waco, TX.

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